The Attribute of the Strong — Forgiveness!

The weak can never forgive!

Also, I can agree with the fact that it is not easy to forgive.
Forgiving a complaint, whether existing or assumed, will be one of the best presents you can give yourself. This is accurate whether you believe the person deserves such kindness or not. When we deny forgiving, we grow resentful. Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison, and expecting the individual that wronged us to suffer. It can also be connected to causing wounds on our bodies and expecting someone else to feel the pain.

This logic is filled with imperfections, but it is also quite critical. Resentment can easily become hate and hatred is a very evil thing. But why do we find it so hard to forgive? If forgiving someone who hurt us will be so beneficial, why does the very idea of letting go of the hurt make us feel so uncomfortable?

The real problem lies in the fact that none of us want to continue reliving the terror of whatever wrong was done to us. But as we continue to think about how we were hurt, we unintentionally begin to think about making the person pay for what they did.

This is particularly so when the person does not seem to be sorry for what they have done. Unfortunately, we cannot force the individual to become a better person by resentfully denying our friendship or kindness from them. We are only punishing ourselves as we force our minds to relive the pain over and over again.

While we are furiously storming through life with the heaviness of resentment in our hearts, our appearance, our speech, and our mood will be adversely affected.

Although we may have been hurt by one or maybe a few people, everyone around us will begin to be affected. Resentment often causes us to be moody, depressed, and generally very offensive. And to make things worse, it is often the people we love and not the people that wronged us, who will end up suffering as a result of what took place.

The weight of resentment has also been known to affect our mindfulness, productivity at work, ability to perform everyday tasks, and our ability to concentrate. Being unfriendly, and refusing to forgive has also been linked to exhausted immune systems, poor heart health, and even high blood pressure. As you can see, refusing to forgive will never prove beneficial.

But what exactly is forgiveness? Is it simply forgetting what took place? Does forgiveness mean we simply fake that nothing happened? NOPE! It is not that simple. When we forgive, we must involve more than our words.

We must transform how we think and feel about the person. It is as if we are empowering them to start with a clean slate all over again. You refuse to allow the situation to cause you or the people involved to hurt you any longer. This requires a high level of emotional intelligence, self-control, and love. Forgiveness is not just “letting them off the hook” for what they did, it is allowing those involved to stop living in the past and move on to more important things.

Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love, and you spread that love out. You need to resist to hang onto the hatred that was caused by the actions that caused the injuries.

Forgiveness becomes easier for us when we remember that we too have had to ask for forgiveness many times. Contrary to what we may believe, we are not perfect. We sometimes hurt the people around us, even the ones we love, without even realizing it. When we refuse to hide resentment and practice forgiveness, it will be easy for those around us to forgive us when we fail.

Here are a few reasons why it is beneficial to practice being forgiving:

• You will be in a more peaceful mood almost at all times!

• You will get better sleep at night. (very important and crucial)

• You will be more productive at work. (no more fear of losing your job or an important promotion)

• You will have better relationships with everybody around.

• You will learn greater self-control and self-awareness.

• Your self-esteem will increase as you observe your strength!

What Forgiveness is Not!

Being forgiving does not mean you have to be a fool and allow yourself to be hurt over and over again. While you will let go of any hatred that you may have against the person or people that hurt you, you certainly do not have to put yourself in a position for you to be hurt that way again. It is fair to be a little more cautious now that you have seen what these people are capable of. But, please be very careful.
Also, remember that we all make mistakes, and we too have caused someone else pain.

Forgiveness is also not an opportunity for revenge. Declaring that you have forgiven someone is not an expression that you now have the “upper hand.” The person may have been guilty, but they certainly do not owe you anything. Even if they do not apologize, you have still gained quite a lot by extending this peace offering, and let go of the harshness that once destroyed you. Remember that by being forgiving, you are doing yourself a favor. While they might benefit as a result of your decision, forgiving them is a gift to yourself.

How to Forgive?

Forgiving someone who hurt you is not easy, I would never demand that you do so spontaneously or all at once. You have the option of forgiving in stages. Gradually letting go of your resentment towards the people who have hurt you, will ensure that you have enough time to root out any resentment you have towards them, out of your mind and heart. If you get the opportunity to see this person often, you can start by simply saying hello.

This may come as a surprise to them because they were not expecting such a kind gesture, and that might open the way for the discussion as you both need to get some closure. Sometimes, even though you were hurt, it is best to take the initiative to set matters straight. Don’t bring in your EGO here! Always remember how this humble act will benefit you in the long run, whether they appreciate the gesture or not.

Another useful exercise would be to think about all the good things this person has done for you. This exercise will help you to remember that despite their faults, this person or these individuals, have many beautiful qualities as well. In the case of those closest to us, these qualities are the very reason why we loved them and kept them close in the first place. Just think, extending a hand of peace may even help this person to see the flaw in their thinking and change for the better. You would have made the world a better place by helping just one individual to become a better person. Such kindness is very rare as we discussed it takes a very strong person to be forgiving.

But think of how much better our lives would be if we did not walk around with the pain of resentment each day. Letting go of that heavy burden is one of the best ways to heal ourselves. This world was already a disaster, and it certainly does not need any more resentment to make it worse.

The next article will describe how being generous can also help us become far more content till then STAY SAFE, STAY HAPPY, and STAY TUNED!