A BFF’s role on hearing “Mere Saiyan Ji Se Aaj Maine breakup kar lia”
In today’s day and age, it’s very common for us to overhear a conversation of someone breaking up or narrating a break-up story to a friend while sipping a cup of coffee in a cafe or while traveling in a metro or randomly just passing across the street.
Relationships are like games! So one party is always getting played.
But most people who get cheated on stand proud and get double cheated. They deny the facts of real-life and end up being stuck!
People sometimes just laugh out stories of difficult break-ups and emotional traumas. But do you know the actual reason for not sharing their true feelings?
Well, let me answer briefly: “they fear they won’t get the required compassion and the fear of being laughed on and judged if they turn vulnerable.
So, it’s on-trend to laugh out break-ups and not deal with the real issues faced!
My point here is if we can’t share our pain and our true feelings with someone we call our BFF, what’s the point of these modern-day friendships?
Does your friend need to hear that they got played on or they let themselves be treated like that!
To borrow DJ Khalid’s words: “Congratulations! You played yourself!” — Well, no broken heart wants to hear those words!
Individuals share their feelings to get empathized and get true guidance when they are not in their best state of mind.
This is where the role of a true BFF starts!
Humor me, because from now on I will write like an expert on heartbreaks.
So, my qualification in this subject is what you are questioning yeah?
EXPERIENCE is the answer!
I never got the support I wanted because maybe I went to the wrong person or maybe I didn’t truly share what I was feeling, and hence didn’t get the required support while also being left with the feeling that I was better off watching FRIENDS sulking over a giant tub of my favorite ice cream.
But I have later also experienced an amazing feeling of comfort after a venting session and the right support!
Not putting too much pressure on the BFF, know that they are not your therapists! But they are someone we should be able to look up to for compassionate feelings we go through during those dark days post a severe break-up.
Here’s what I was thinking when I went to my friends after a breakup.
1.) Do you even hear me?
We cannot call it a safe room to be vulnerable if we don’t listen to what our friend is really saying. Just getting the information that your friend had to go through a breakup is not the entire story.
A true friend should ask the deets, like what actually happened and most importantly how are they feeling. People who ask for more details and information are actually interested, and give the other person a feeling of being heard.
2.) Can you please empathize rather than babbling just about “YOU”?
This is not your chance to speak your story. Rather it’s the perfect opportunity to understand your friend’s feelings.
Showing care and concern and making them comfortable by sharing that you too have been in that place and can understand their flow of emotions. Also, make sure you convey that you are available and are with them in processing the heartbreak with zero judgments.
3.) Any Advice for me in my current state of being?
So, this one is situational. Pearl of wisdom is not welcomed until asked for! Before giving your free advice, think of French Fries. Either you are craving them, or they are not at all on your mind. So, only dish out advice when it is craved for. Until then let kindness and humble feelings take the center stage.
I’m a proud snowflake.
I stand by pushing for genuine friendships.
I stand by it when I say: it’s okay to be vulnerable with people who are dear to us, and trust that these people will be there for you to hold you and be there with you in different walks of life.
Maybe now we all will be able to confidently answer the question, “Where do broken hearts go?” with “in the warmth of our friends who love and care for us”
